RECAP: August 30, September 1, 3 Broadcasts

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opheliagh	RECAP: August 30, September 1, 3 Broadcasts	Lead	[-]
Posts: 179 (08/30/05 22:15:50) Skippy Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts	Tags : None Tuesday, August 30: Last week, old, old Rachel went home. Howie and Janelle were sad about it. Howie loves Rachel: as a person, a friend, and a future hookup. Sadly, not as a wife. Its just too bad those rumors werent true. Beau was both ecstatic about being part of the last pair but also realizes he is now a target. America asked, Who is this Beau guy again? April was crowned like Miss America as Head of Household. Maggie feels like she won HOH too. Because, it is all about Maggie. Ivette says that America loves April. America laughs heartily. Its Day 54, and James remarks that this is the summer of hell, and he deserves to go home. It always amazes me how pissy the HGs get about being in the house, as though they had NO IDEA this was the game. April babbles about how she now feels shes at least contributed something to the house. Besides her caring, loving, generous spirit. Its mentioned that no one has won HOH twice. Janelle, the saucy minx, disagrees and says that when Howie was HOH, Maggie called the shots. Maggie is shocked. SHOCKED. She pretends not to understand. Maggie and April decide to backdoor James this week. They run into the gold room and excitedly tell Howie and Janelle the plan. They really need to take it down a coupla notches. Howie and Janey agree but seem fairly skeptical. Janelle confessionals that they said we need your help. Last time they said that, Kaysar was booted. Aw! Look its Kaysar in black and white. Awww poor pretty Kaysar. Janelle concludes, it wasnt very helpful for us. On to the HOH bedroom. There are dog pictures and wedding pictures. Beau (who?) shrieks several times. Pepperoni perks up a little at home. My ears bleed. April cries over a bracelet from FatMatt Hes still in love with me. Must be some bracelet. She also got Uggs which makes me hate her even more. Ugh, Uggs. April says it was so good for everyone in the house to finally see Matt. Uh. Ok. She says she loves him and thanks him for the pitchers. Gah Cowboy flashbacks.
opheliagh	Re: RECAP: August 30, September 1, 3 Broadcasts	#1	[-]
Posts: 179 (09/07/05 14:20:13) Skippy Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts	After the ass-kissing fest, April looks to the Sith for advice. Ivette tries to campaign for bye bye Janelle week, which makes April even more suspicious that there is a secret Ivy-James pact. Maggie says she doesnt doubt Ivette would pick her over James but she doesnt want to give Ivette a chance to. Someone needs to send over a dictionary so Maggie can look up the definitions of trust and doubt. April makes her nomination choices. She said its hard to nominate people because she likes to be liked. Which must be why shes such a loving and charming person who never talks smack about anyone ever. She also likes to like people. Unless theyre named Janelle. And later unless theyre Americans. Nomination ceremony. I like the nomination ceremonies because Howie wears a shirt. April noms Janelle and Howie to the surprise of no one. She does not mention the backdoor plan, just in case she wants to pull out of it and backstab Janelle and Howie. Or, you know something along those lines. Janelle talks about her nomination saying that buxom with brains is a deadly combo which must be destroyed. Howie babbles about veto. And America. And being a star. I like him, but he really isnt that good of a speaker is he? April tells James shell pick Maggie for veto, thus, James realizes he is being back-doored. But wait! April wont commit to the backdoor. Shes 210% (I hate that crap) that James is gunning for Maggie and then April. Theres more worry about James veto wins and Ivettes possible turncoat-ism.
opheliagh	Re: RECAP: August 30, September 1, 3 Broadcasts	#2	[-]
Posts: 179 (09/07/05 14:21:19) Skippy Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts	Veto ceremony: Howie has Rachel and Jennifers pictures with him. April keeps calling everyone beautiful and picks Maggie-moo. Janelle picks Ivette, and Howie picks Beau saying he just cant beat James. The comp is called Playing it Dirty, and is really just an excuse to get the girls covered in mud. The short version is: they must root in the mud for keys to unlock veto symbols from a pole, and then drop the veto symbols into tubes on the other side. The first to get the silver veto gets the combination to one of the safes. And go! Janelle gets the silver veto (because she wins EVERYTHING!), but April wins veto (guess I was wrong about Janelle winning everything, the lucky wench.). After the veto comp, Janelle opens the safe and wins a trip to the Bahamas and her very own product placement gnome. Everyone congratulates her, but they so totally hate her. Except Howie. Now its Americas choice time. Janelle wins a call from Michael. Man, are the Sith pissed AWF! Some highlights of the Americas Choice fallout: Maggie says the talk wasnt very intellectual. Ivette cries and cries and cries, and says its not fair. Then she takes all her toys and goes home. Maybe not the last part. The girls are really pissed that Janelle picked Michael. Again, the entitlement in the room gets a bit thick. They rant and rant and rant against evil, evil Janelle. They really hate her. James says America is cruel. Then brings up a Bible quote. Yes truly this is a Bible-appropriate situation. Then it gets really good. April is hurt that America loves Janelle. She questions the collective character of America. She is gobsmacked. She calls America stupid and crazy. Then!!! Then!!! She calls America pieces of shit. Wow. Just wow. She really has no internal filter does she? Veto ceremony: April decides to veto Janelle (to guarantee she can get the votes to boot James) despite privately saying that Janelle doesnt deserve to be here. Its a game show, people not the Nobel Prize ballot. Anyway, April nominates James in Janelles place. Howie says its 50-50 hes going home. Eh, not so much. James thinks he can swing Janelles vote. James am dumb. Who will go home?! Tune in next time! (Or... just keep reading...)
opheliagh	Re: RECAP: August 30, September 1, 3 Broadcasts	#3	[-]
Posts: 179 (09/07/05 15:00:14) Skippy Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts	Thursday, September 1st: Previously: April won HOH and veto. She nominated Howie and Janelle, but vetoed Janelle to backdoor James. James knew he was toast. Will the Friendship finish off the Sovereign Two? The Chen greets us. She sorta, kinda, maybe has thighs now. And I cant see every bone in her chest. Its nice to see someone intervened a little. Unfortunately, they neglected to get her help with the wardrobe. I believe those are mini pom-poms lining the edge of her sweater. The Chen tells us its another double eviction week! Surprise! Live feed subscribers everywhere groan about the impending live feed blackout. The show recaps the James-Ivette semi-alliance. Ivette comforts James after his nomination. James says he wasnt surprised, but thinks April screwed her team by vetoing Janelle. He laments that he has no chance against Howie. Howie jokes around about packing together, like the big lovable lunk he is. James is not amused and tells him to stop. Howie does, looking a little hurt. Hes such a little kid. Maggie confessionals her worry about Ivette and James bond. Ivette wanted to comfort him, she says. Hold him I dont know. Maggie actually makes me laugh with the way she says that. Ivette hates Howie. Man, who doesnt this girl hate? Shes so negative. Shed probably be a much happier person if she didnt expend so much effort on hating everyone around her. Ivette and James plot, to no avail. Seriously, guys, get a clue. Its a losing battle. The group, minus Ivette, hangs out in the kitchen chatting. Ivette pops out of the HOH and shushes them. Apparently Howie is too loud for anyone to take naps at 3 in the afternoon. I dont get the napping. They certainly arent exerting themselves here. Anyway, James seizes on this as an opportunity to campaign against Howie. Howie responds in kind.
opheliagh	Re: RECAP: August 30, September 1, 3 Broadcasts	#4	[-]
Posts: 179 (09/07/05 15:01:18) Skippy Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts	Later, James tries to work Janelle. Janelle realizes that Howie is not great competitively lately, but that he is her friend. Also, Janelle is not stupid. Howie would set himself on fire for Janelle. James? Not so much. Naturally, James lies to Ivette that Janelle pinkie-sweared a sympathy vote. Julie chats with the HGs now and asks Janey about the Michael call. Janey is happy and gracious about it. The Chen then asks some questions from fans. First up is Maggie, who gets a question about her weight loss. Poor girl, she looks a bit offended. I actually sympathize. Yes, shes lost some weight, but she was pretty small to begin with. Ivette gets asked what she wants if she wins HOH. She says a picture of her girlfriend. Shes like Cowboy Redux. Beau is asked who would be the worst permanent roommate. At first he says Howie, but then changes it to Janelle; apparently, she is messy. Now we meet Aprils friends and family. Oh dear. But first the editors hate April. We get a montage of her saying: The bottom line is, the deal is, and you know what Im saying. Then Jennifer says that April talks too much. Hee. We meet two of Aprils sorority sisters who say April is one of a kind and S-M-R-T, smart but that she needs to shut up sometimes. FatMatt!!! He says he dislikes the new Howie and doesnt appreciate what Howie did. I dont blame him, but April did start it with her whose life is better? comment. And she did pick on Howie missing fingers, which low blow. Still, nothing Matt says really surprises me on that count. A guy insulted his wife he should be mad. Then its my favorite part of the episode. Matt says: Im big boned, but Im not fat, ok?, and he seriously sounds like hes going to cry. Heee. Then it gets weird and Matt challenges Howie and rubs his belly and its just embarrassing for everyone involved. We also meet Pepperoni. The creature April would pick over her husband, as we later learn.
opheliagh	Re: RECAP: August 30, September 1, 3 Broadcasts	#5	[-]
Posts: 179 (09/07/05 15:02:34) Skippy Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts	HOH interview: Julie asks if it was strategy to fly under radar. April lies when she says it was. Nice cover story for your early incompetence. She said she came for the experience. Yes not the money. No one ever comes on a competitive game show for the money. She babbles that she has a wonderful life outside the house. She sure likes to remind us (and herself) of that. April confirms that she and Maggie are partners now and says its under wraps. Julie asks if April thinks Ivette is loyal? April says she loves Ivette and that their similarities are what make them butt heads. Ivette has a huge heart and so she cares for James but is loyal to friendship. 110%. Again, that is not a real percent. Shut up, April. Jury house: Its a lakehouse! Very pretty. Lots of air balloons. Jennifer is lonely. Jen also says that Rachel is boring, and Jen wants to see her least of all. Naturally, its Rachel. They hug. Jennifer gives Rachel the tour, culminating in Jens bedroom, which is, of course, the biggest in the house. Rachel whips out the show tape and they watch. Jen idiots this looks so fun and colorful; its like a real television show. Rachel eyerolls. Rachel criticizes Aprils veto game play. Jen eyerolls. Jen says, I love my group. Rachel hopes the other Sith show up soon. Jen babbles about her group more. Rach eyerolls. Jen sucks her teeth. She is intolerable. Also, this whole sequence? UN. COM. fortable. Back to the house. Its time for the pleading-to-stay speeches. I hate these and refuse to recap them. Everyone votes live and James is evicted unanimously. Hugs all around and he leaves. Ivette goes into the bathroom on her own and fiddles with something. Beau fixes Howies pocket. Heh. Janelle jokes with Howie about cleaning the bathroom and winning her vote. Theyre very cute.
opheliagh	Re: RECAP: August 30, September 1, 3 Broadcasts	#6	[-]
Posts: 179 (09/07/05 15:03:49) Skippy Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts	Chenterview highlights: James says the HGs are crazy and that they kept making worse mistakes than he did. James would have stayed loyal to the Sovereign 6 had Howie not nominated him and Sarah. He says it was one of the worse mistakes. I agree. I like Howie but he is a huge lunkhead. James says he and Ivette are truly friends and that theyll stay in touch and that her girlfriend and family are lucky. Hes nice but I still dont get the Ivette love. In her farewell video, Maggie admits shes an ER nurse. The HOH competition is bowling. The HGs roll a ball up a central beam and get points according to which trench the ball ends up in. Howie wins 12 points with his quick roll/no looking strategy, just narrowly edging out Beau. He is very happy to be a second time HOH. In the living room, Julie asks some more fan questions. Howie says his perfect woman is one of the HGs, and then says you just know when you know. Beau says hed give his money to charity, his mom, and then use the rest to travel. April wishes shed brought her dog to the house. Julie asks, Not Matt?!!? and April says shed want them both. She picked the dog first, guys. I guess we now understand the dynamics of that marriage a bit better. Howie learns its double eviction week and reluctantly nominates Ivetta and Beau-Beau. And with that, we are out. Next time therell be a surprise guest. Sadly, it is not MIME. CBS cares, so donate to Hurricane Katrina relief.
opheliagh	Re: RECAP: August 30, September 1, 3 Broadcasts	#7	[-]
Posts: 179 (09/07/05 15:43:54) Skippy Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts	Saturday, September 3rd: We are greeted by The Chen for this special double elimination episode. She recaps the last few noteworthy events (see above). Then the HGs react to James' eviction. Ivette is sad and talks about the futility of a sympathy vote. April boasts that it was her sole responsibility that James went up. I dont think shes wording that right, you know what Im saying? We see Howie win HOH again. April is sad he won. The Sith really can be pretty horrible. They openly excuse their gameplay and pat themselves on the back, and then they deride Howie and Janeys gameplay. Theyre playing the same game! People win competitions and thus win power. Its how it works. Sore losers, the Sith are. Ivette samples the grapes. They are sour. Howie vows not to let the Nerd Herd control him this week. Ivette cries, again. She wonders why she cant be blessed like the others. Yes, truly, yours is a horrible, disappointing life. Losing your home, your family, your job, your way of life, and your entire city. Oh wait. She just lost the HOH competition. Perspective, Ivette, please go buy some. Ivette then gives us the idiot quote of the week. She HATES Janelle and says that she has the worst soul (shes) ever seen in a human being. There are no words. Apparently, weve been missing all the segments in which Janelle sacrifices small children to her demon god, commits genocide, and chops up tiny puppies to feed to the other HGs. Really, Ivette? The worst soul ever? Now we get the HOH bedroom tour. Howie got lightsabers. He is so excited and keeps thanking BB. Theyre actually nice ones that light from the bottom up and make noise. He got a blue (Jedi) and a red (Sith) one. Beau asks if theyre real. Yes Beau they are actual sabers made of light. Howie and Janelle duel with the lightsabers. Howie tells her shes a good Jedi and she says she learned from the best. Awww they really like each other. Ivette whines, AGAIN, about not winning HOH. She really is Cowboys successor in the whiny category. News flash: The Sith hate Janelle. I know you were wondering.
opheliagh	Re: RECAP: August 30, September 1, 3 Broadcasts	#8	[-]
Posts: 179 (09/07/05 15:46:44) Skippy Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts	Maggie and April decide to team up. Then Ivette approaches Maggie about veto. Basically she floats the idea of Maggie winning veto and taking either Ivette or Beau off and putting up April. Maggie is conflicted but knows she has to win veto or she goes up and home. Oh save me. Its veto competition time, and the surprise guest its Holly. Can I skip this part? Id forgotten how awful her voice is. Seriously. Kill me. She is very loud. And she screeches. Babies are crying. I think a small hummingbird just committed suicide outside my window. The veto competition is a giant game of craps. As opposed to the show now, which is a giant pile of crap. I cannot listen to Holly. My ears have crawled off my head and are huddled in the corner begging for mercy. Ok, heres the deal with the game. The HGs bet chips. They roll the dice they have to answer the question on the dice. If they crap out, they all lose their bets. The ladies all tie so it goes into tiebreaker. Suddenly the news cuts in to tell me Rehnquist has died. I have to say anything that stops the incessant banshee shriek that is Holly cant be all bad, right? Ok, sorry death is sad. But Hollys voice makes me pine for the sweet release of death. Still no? Okay.
opheliagh	Re: RECAP: August 30, September 1, 3 Broadcasts	#9	[-]
Posts: 179 (09/07/05 15:47:53) Skippy Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts	Back from the interruption. Maggies won. She wants to talk to Howie alone, but he says no he needs Janey. And Janey insists on being there. Maggie says no way then. Maggie laments that she cant pick Howies brain. I do think its a bit childish that Janey and Howie must only speak with others as a team, but honestly the Sith have been doing the same for weeks. And Howie really is easy to sway. The Sith say Howie is totally not in control and cant think for himself and therefore does not deserve to win. Maggie asks the group what she should do completely missing the irony. They refuse to really answer. Ivette and Beau leave and April thanks Maggie for not using the POV. Maggie says she may and then tells April she wont go home. April doesnt get it. April is scared and sad. Maggie is blank. And so begins Aprils descent into despair. April and Janey talk. Janey says she thinks the Sith are turning on April. She says its a way to save Maggie because Janey will target the couple (Ivette and Beau if they remain). Maggie later tells April that she cant win against any of the other friends. Keeping Ivette and Beau in the game keeps the target off her. April is so upset. Like, honestly upset. She deserves it more she says. Maggie says keeping April ensures her death but her heart wants to keep April. April cries and cries. Its hard to watch. Veto ceremony: Howie has his lightsaber, natch. Maggie babbles about how morals get in the way in this game. I would say Kaysar would agree. Long story short, Maggie does not use the veto.
opheliagh	Re: RECAP: August 30, September 1, 3 Broadcasts	#10	[-]
Posts: 179 (09/07/05 15:49:16) Skippy Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts	Voting: Beau is out by a unanimous vote. His outfit makes me weep. April says shell miss his Beau bedtime stories. This statement also makes me weep. There is much hugging. Gah, Beaus pants are really awful. Theyre peach? And his shirt is electric blue. The friendship is crying. Boohoo. Ivette says shes cried more than anybody in the game. April says she must be joking because shes an emotional wreck. Ivette rolls her eyes. Hee. Chenterview. Beau is an idiot. Seriously he says you gotta do whatcha gotta do about 50 times. I wanted to like Beau, but there is nothing original or dynamic about the guy at all. The interview is brief, and there are no goodbye videos. HOH comp: Magnetic Attraction The HGs are asked questions based on answers to the inane questionnaires they filled out before entering the house. They have to stick a magnet on either side of their podium to indicate answers. If they answer wrong, the magnet falls off. If they answer right, it sticks and they get a point. Thank you, Big Brother, for finding new and interesting ways to make these trivia competitions more and more silly and complicated. Things learned from the questions: Kaysar gets compliments on his smile. Sarah cracks her knuckles. Ivette got naked on a stage with a girl in Key West on a dare (or maybe she got on stage with a naked girl). Jennifer dressed as Britney spears for Halloween. Maggie would name her autobiography I had a blast living a normal life. Yawn. Howie sold blood plasma for 3 days. Janelles first job was at a dairy queen. Kaysar likes womens buttocks. Julie is very funny when she says buttocks. Everyone gets that one wrong. Ivette and Maggie tie. Ivette wins the tiebreaker and gets HOH. Maggie totally throws it, by the way. Ivette is very happy. I am not so much Ivette screams a lot. Loudly. She also cries, which surprises a single person, somewhere in Idaho. The rest of the nation shrugs. Tune in next time to see who Ivette nominates (duh) and whether or not Cowboy - I mean Ivette - finally shuts up about pitchers - I mean pictures- of her girlfriend. Thanks for letting me recap the live broadcasts. It was a blast. Except for that whole Holly thing. Lets never speak of that again.

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RECAP: August 30, September 1, 3 Broadcasts

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