August 24
As he always does, Overly Dramatic Announcer Guy starts us off with previouslies: Wills departure sent SHOCKWAVES through the house. Nakomis was the last person the twins wanted to win HOH, they scramble to save themselves, but to no avail. Theyre nominated, and were happy.
Nakomis rehashes her reasons for putting up The Twins of Doom (The TOD) in the DR, reiterating again, some more, about broken promises and the Infamous Pinky Swear. No loophole on a pinky swear!!!! Meanwhile Nat and A-hole laugh at this foolish reasoning. "Nice copout. At least she could have made a better speech or at least give me a personal reason," they say. How bout a Bullcrap Sandwich? Mmm, tasty. Goes so nicely with a big ole glass of Shut the Hell Up, with a slice of Fuck You for dessert. Yes, ladies, please help yourselves in the kitchen. Yet they remain in the living room discussing how they were nominated for unsatisfying reasons. Because if Nakomis said that she wanted to see the twins bust out and shine and show who they really were as players, they'd be totally down with her nominations.
May the most Evil Twin win. Or, if you prefer, May both Evil Twins land in sequester in the next two weeks. Optimism, realism, whatever works for you, toots.
Marvin and CB are on the patio, discussing whom they want out. Thats a hard decision, laments CB. Thats right, honey, decisions are HARD. You hang in there Cowboy.
Nakomis tries to explain her reasoning to the twins but they totally dont get it. When we both came into the house, all bets were off. Ah. If only Nakomis knew that. Then the pots & kettles do a little dance, drink a little water, call Nakomis crazy and compare Will to Charles Manson.
It's Fun with Bullies! Time, as Nat and A-Hole compete for that Most Evil Twin award with their runaway logic and nonstop intimidation tactics. First they both YELL at Diane in the bathroom. Then Nat corners Diane in the LR, gives her a noogie and takes her lunch money as Nak looks on from the HOH spy screen. (Loving the Garfield pillow, btw). Later, A backs Drew and Cowboy up against the wall behind the gym and gives them wedgies.
When a luxury competition breaks up their fun, the hamsters are sent to their backyard habitrail to discover a tangled web of giant shiny balls. Karen sounds funny saying shiny balls. Basically they have to crawl through a bunch of bungee-cord-lookin things and push a giant white ball with a letter on it out the other side. If they get them all out and unscramble the letters in 3 minutes or less, they win 18 prizes from Amazon.com ranging from gourmet food to sporting goods. For every 30 seconds they go over, they lose one item from that shopping spree. The person with the fastest time wins $1,000 @ amazon.com for him or herself.
Drew goes first and takes one for the team (according to CBHATE that phrase) by pushing all the balls forward before escaping with a time of 36 seconds. One by one they go in and DR their strategy. Diane burrows right through like a little rat or Lara Croft Tomb Raider, depending on if youre Drew or Marvin. Eventually, they realize they have to spell something, and prove that spelling "Internet" is HARD. I-n-t-e-t-r-n-e is their first try and I am not even shitting you. Marvin calls them drain bramaged and I have a giggle. Under Marvins direction, they finally figure it out (I-n-t-e-r-f-u-c-k-i-n-g-n-e-t) in 5:03 for the whole game and win 14 prizes.
Diane wins the $1,000 for Amazon.com all to herself. Drew thinks he deserves 20%.
After their win, Marvin says, I kinda liked everybody for a little while, and I hate these people. Aw. Thats sweet. And mean.
They go into HOH to shop online and claim its very exciting because their lives are very, very sad. Much oohing and ahing over Omaha Steaks, a fire pit, an elliptical and a water volleyball set. And although this scene was stoopid, I have to admit; those Omaha steaks are damn good.
Following this fun bonding experience, Fun with Bullies! continues as The TOD attack Diane in the living room, punch her in the face and call her "Four Eyes."
Diane DRs that she hates being caught off guard.
The amazon.com smiley face boxes show up in the backyard. Cowboy exclaims over the cocktail sauce. I dont know. They decide to fire up the fire pit and have a ceremonial burning of Hollys little white cat of luck.
Next up, some rehash of the Americas Choice Young & the Restless stunt casting competition. Cowboy thinks hed be perfect for a soap. I got a bar of Irish Spring with your name all over it, stinky. Marvin lurrrrves the Y & R, and he an Cowboy "audition" for the Young and the Restless role by "acting" out scenes in the DR and for various house guests. They both kiss Karen, at which point she projectile vomits on The TOD and stomps out of the house. Or maybe just throws up in her mouth a little.
Drew & Cowboy share a brief moment of clarity as they realize that they are fucked.
Its time for the Veto competition. Nakomis chooses Marvin, A chooses Drew, Natalie chooses Cowboy. The six chill in the Morgue before they go outside in the BY, where they find, as Nakomis puts it, the science fiction mumbo jumbo DNA Morph-o-Matic screw-with-your-head competition. Basically, a screen goes up that shows 3 HGs faces blended into one, and they have to guess which faces they are. Fastest time to guess all wins.
Nakomis takes a little too much time to react to each face, finishes in 7:12 and leaves emotionally traumatized. Marvin finishes in 11:15 and claims hell have nightmares for the rest of the week. Natalie duhs in the DR that the Veto Competition is very important, and finishes in 6:43. Drew does his in 7:35. Cowboy comes out and finds the, Mungus DNA Morph-a-MayWhat? and takes a whopping 14:19 to figure his shit out. Adria speeds through in 4:40. In the end, the game proves to no one's surprise that Drew, CB & Marvin are slow, unobservant jackasses. And Adria wins.
Diane bitches that no one was happy about it, and says, under great duress, that shell try to be nice. Whatever.
The TOD strategize, whisper and cry their black little hearts out as they figure out how to use As newly won prize. Nakomis, Karen & Diane talk about who goes up in As place. They do a lot of talking about how they dont know what Marvins deal is, without talking to fucking Marvin. Honestly, chicks. Just talk to him. Nakomis says she cant put up CB out of blood line respect.
A-Hole calls the Veto meeting to order, and the HGs clear their schedules for the next week in preparation for the speeches. Marvin & Drew DR that they dont want to be pawns. Natalies speech: I think the Veto is a great tool I welcome it I know its a tough decision, blahdi freaking blah.
Now Adria: Thank you very much Natalie. I appreciate your honesty, I know that was definitely something true from your heart I was in this position last week and I really wanted to use it then, but I felt like it was not wanted. Cries of BULLSHIT!! are heard around the country as Marvin drills holes into her head with his eyes. She continues, This week I know that its definitely wanted by both nominees. I will make a decision now to use the Power of Veto on myself because I feel that Natalie has been absolutely reflected by Adrias actions anyways. And I feel like if you guys didnt want to give her a chance this week for the wonderful person that she is I dont know if it was ever in your hearts to do it begin with.
Wow. Just wow. Do you see what she did there? That was an amazingly bold attempt to make all of the other houseguests feel like Grade-A Shit on a Stick for not being nicer to her wonderful sister. THEN she shifted all of the blame for the past two weeks away from her and onto the other HGs. If they buy the shit shes selling, then I might actually have to be impressed. Except that she dont, so I still hate her. Nakomis nominates her brother Michael and tells him she thinks hes a safe bet and has nothing to worry about.
The nominees are Cowboy and Nat...Nat...Nat-gonna-be-around-much-longer-that's-for-sure.
Fuckin' A.
As he always does, Overly Dramatic Announcer Guy starts us off with previouslies: Wills departure sent SHOCKWAVES through the house. Nakomis was the last person the twins wanted to win HOH, they scramble to save themselves, but to no avail. Theyre nominated, and were happy.
Nakomis rehashes her reasons for putting up The Twins of Doom (The TOD) in the DR, reiterating again, some more, about broken promises and the Infamous Pinky Swear. No loophole on a pinky swear!!!! Meanwhile Nat and A-hole laugh at this foolish reasoning. "Nice copout. At least she could have made a better speech or at least give me a personal reason," they say. How bout a Bullcrap Sandwich? Mmm, tasty. Goes so nicely with a big ole glass of Shut the Hell Up, with a slice of Fuck You for dessert. Yes, ladies, please help yourselves in the kitchen. Yet they remain in the living room discussing how they were nominated for unsatisfying reasons. Because if Nakomis said that she wanted to see the twins bust out and shine and show who they really were as players, they'd be totally down with her nominations.
May the most Evil Twin win. Or, if you prefer, May both Evil Twins land in sequester in the next two weeks. Optimism, realism, whatever works for you, toots.
Marvin and CB are on the patio, discussing whom they want out. Thats a hard decision, laments CB. Thats right, honey, decisions are HARD. You hang in there Cowboy.
Nakomis tries to explain her reasoning to the twins but they totally dont get it. When we both came into the house, all bets were off. Ah. If only Nakomis knew that. Then the pots & kettles do a little dance, drink a little water, call Nakomis crazy and compare Will to Charles Manson.
It's Fun with Bullies! Time, as Nat and A-Hole compete for that Most Evil Twin award with their runaway logic and nonstop intimidation tactics. First they both YELL at Diane in the bathroom. Then Nat corners Diane in the LR, gives her a noogie and takes her lunch money as Nak looks on from the HOH spy screen. (Loving the Garfield pillow, btw). Later, A backs Drew and Cowboy up against the wall behind the gym and gives them wedgies.
When a luxury competition breaks up their fun, the hamsters are sent to their backyard habitrail to discover a tangled web of giant shiny balls. Karen sounds funny saying shiny balls. Basically they have to crawl through a bunch of bungee-cord-lookin things and push a giant white ball with a letter on it out the other side. If they get them all out and unscramble the letters in 3 minutes or less, they win 18 prizes from Amazon.com ranging from gourmet food to sporting goods. For every 30 seconds they go over, they lose one item from that shopping spree. The person with the fastest time wins $1,000 @ amazon.com for him or herself.
Drew goes first and takes one for the team (according to CBHATE that phrase) by pushing all the balls forward before escaping with a time of 36 seconds. One by one they go in and DR their strategy. Diane burrows right through like a little rat or Lara Croft Tomb Raider, depending on if youre Drew or Marvin. Eventually, they realize they have to spell something, and prove that spelling "Internet" is HARD. I-n-t-e-t-r-n-e is their first try and I am not even shitting you. Marvin calls them drain bramaged and I have a giggle. Under Marvins direction, they finally figure it out (I-n-t-e-r-f-u-c-k-i-n-g-n-e-t) in 5:03 for the whole game and win 14 prizes.
Diane wins the $1,000 for Amazon.com all to herself. Drew thinks he deserves 20%.
After their win, Marvin says, I kinda liked everybody for a little while, and I hate these people. Aw. Thats sweet. And mean.
They go into HOH to shop online and claim its very exciting because their lives are very, very sad. Much oohing and ahing over Omaha Steaks, a fire pit, an elliptical and a water volleyball set. And although this scene was stoopid, I have to admit; those Omaha steaks are damn good.
Following this fun bonding experience, Fun with Bullies! continues as The TOD attack Diane in the living room, punch her in the face and call her "Four Eyes."
Diane DRs that she hates being caught off guard.
The amazon.com smiley face boxes show up in the backyard. Cowboy exclaims over the cocktail sauce. I dont know. They decide to fire up the fire pit and have a ceremonial burning of Hollys little white cat of luck.
Next up, some rehash of the Americas Choice Young & the Restless stunt casting competition. Cowboy thinks hed be perfect for a soap. I got a bar of Irish Spring with your name all over it, stinky. Marvin lurrrrves the Y & R, and he an Cowboy "audition" for the Young and the Restless role by "acting" out scenes in the DR and for various house guests. They both kiss Karen, at which point she projectile vomits on The TOD and stomps out of the house. Or maybe just throws up in her mouth a little.
Drew & Cowboy share a brief moment of clarity as they realize that they are fucked.
Its time for the Veto competition. Nakomis chooses Marvin, A chooses Drew, Natalie chooses Cowboy. The six chill in the Morgue before they go outside in the BY, where they find, as Nakomis puts it, the science fiction mumbo jumbo DNA Morph-o-Matic screw-with-your-head competition. Basically, a screen goes up that shows 3 HGs faces blended into one, and they have to guess which faces they are. Fastest time to guess all wins.
Nakomis takes a little too much time to react to each face, finishes in 7:12 and leaves emotionally traumatized. Marvin finishes in 11:15 and claims hell have nightmares for the rest of the week. Natalie duhs in the DR that the Veto Competition is very important, and finishes in 6:43. Drew does his in 7:35. Cowboy comes out and finds the, Mungus DNA Morph-a-MayWhat? and takes a whopping 14:19 to figure his shit out. Adria speeds through in 4:40. In the end, the game proves to no one's surprise that Drew, CB & Marvin are slow, unobservant jackasses. And Adria wins.
Diane bitches that no one was happy about it, and says, under great duress, that shell try to be nice. Whatever.
The TOD strategize, whisper and cry their black little hearts out as they figure out how to use As newly won prize. Nakomis, Karen & Diane talk about who goes up in As place. They do a lot of talking about how they dont know what Marvins deal is, without talking to fucking Marvin. Honestly, chicks. Just talk to him. Nakomis says she cant put up CB out of blood line respect.
A-Hole calls the Veto meeting to order, and the HGs clear their schedules for the next week in preparation for the speeches. Marvin & Drew DR that they dont want to be pawns. Natalies speech: I think the Veto is a great tool I welcome it I know its a tough decision, blahdi freaking blah.
Now Adria: Thank you very much Natalie. I appreciate your honesty, I know that was definitely something true from your heart I was in this position last week and I really wanted to use it then, but I felt like it was not wanted. Cries of BULLSHIT!! are heard around the country as Marvin drills holes into her head with his eyes. She continues, This week I know that its definitely wanted by both nominees. I will make a decision now to use the Power of Veto on myself because I feel that Natalie has been absolutely reflected by Adrias actions anyways. And I feel like if you guys didnt want to give her a chance this week for the wonderful person that she is I dont know if it was ever in your hearts to do it begin with.
Wow. Just wow. Do you see what she did there? That was an amazingly bold attempt to make all of the other houseguests feel like Grade-A Shit on a Stick for not being nicer to her wonderful sister. THEN she shifted all of the blame for the past two weeks away from her and onto the other HGs. If they buy the shit shes selling, then I might actually have to be impressed. Except that she dont, so I still hate her. Nakomis nominates her brother Michael and tells him she thinks hes a safe bet and has nothing to worry about.
The nominees are Cowboy and Nat...Nat...Nat-gonna-be-around-much-longer-that's-for-sure.
Fuckin' A.
